It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
