Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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