love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
