she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize