Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
