how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
