Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize