I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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