I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
