drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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