Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
bring money and cleavage
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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