operation harelip BJ is a go
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Drunk is not a location!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize