i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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