am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
