When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
