we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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