the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize