i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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