It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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