Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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