he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you never un-have a 4some
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
