glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
