The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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