Nicole vs. Life
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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