He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
third nipple confirmed
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
