You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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