And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
