It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
