This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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