Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
