But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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