there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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