Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize