I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
