Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
only you would photoshop your dick
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
