you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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