My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
