I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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