Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
