omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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