He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
