eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
