I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Come share oat with me in your robe
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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