Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize