I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
