it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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