Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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