He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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