Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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