Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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