Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
