8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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