We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am one with the molecules
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
