This is not my ceiling
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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