I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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