i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
