i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
