You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
