i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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