Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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