i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
