Cold hands, warm shart.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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