I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
