i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
