Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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