New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i need some magic done to my vagina
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
