I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
