that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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