Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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