Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
