Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I love you. Go after that dick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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