just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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